think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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