her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
