You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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