all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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