ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
