2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
