I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
