That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
