Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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