I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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