Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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