Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
