Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You might as well just give her the money now.

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(406): View more from Montana

Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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(254): View more from Texas

Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.

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(917): View more from New York City

I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.

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(248): View more from Michigan

There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...

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(919): View more from North Carolina

No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge

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