new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Let's paint friendship bongs
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
