8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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