I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
