found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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