LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
