my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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