i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
