Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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