"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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