If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
