He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
