sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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