just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
