Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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