Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
