I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
