Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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