He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
