just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
