I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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