I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
