Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
