Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize