Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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