You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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