so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
