it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize