please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
