im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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