whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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