Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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