I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
