oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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