I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
