FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
