He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
