I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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