The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
