Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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