who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
