you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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