Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
