Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
