i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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