I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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