U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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