why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
