Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
