Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
