i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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