Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
