can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
