If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
