you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize