she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
