So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
