So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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