My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
