the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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