In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
