If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize