did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
