actually, I'm a sock model
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
