Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
