about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
