Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had to cum in my sink.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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