My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
