They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
