so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
